Clutter and Chaos - humor column

Between Chaos and Clutter

Is it only me or does time seem to cruise at G. force speed when you’re writing? I’ll sit down, coffee in hand and ideas in my head. I make sure I have everything I need.....thus quelling the hunger of the NotTodayBeast. (see my article on procrastination) I’m ready to write.

The clock says 1:30 as I open two browsers. One, of course, for email. The other to check on my progress with the writing communities. I read my emails, make sure all links from my sites are up and running, chat with a few friends on icq as I go. All the work blending into a nice productive flow. I’m doing it.....I’m motoring.....I’m .....Oh My God!!! I’M LATE!! .....Again (insert huge sigh here)

There is never enough time to do it all. Never. I’ve tried setting the alarm. Ya, like that’s going to help. I’ve tried asking my family to remind me of the time. I’ve even tried not working some days when I need to be somewhere at a certain time. Forget it. It doesn’t work. I’m fully and completely absorbed by what I’m doing.

The few things that will snap me out of a writing jag, I could name on one hand. The kids getting hurt, the husband getting hurt, the kids hurting the husband, the kids hurting cats, or me running out of coffee. That’s it folks. Not to say that I don’t know what’s going on around me. On the contrary, I’m well aware. I just choose to ignore it. I spend enough time with all the breathing creatures in this house, I can disappear into the words. I earned it. Hell, I cleaned the litter pan this morning. Darn right I earned it.

Division of labor is an ugly term. It means nothing in most households I’ve been in. Somewhere along the line one person does more than the other. Usually gripes more too. But that’s a different article.

The never ending array of chores that must be done can be likened to newspapers. How’s that you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Newspapers, once read, take on a life of their own. They reproduce wherever they are put. Fast as rabbits I tell you. Faster. And if any of you are like me, I usually hang on to old newspapers. They serve a variety of needs. Birdcage liners, fire starters, wrap for fragiles, etc. But no matter what job they are slated for, you always have way more than needed. It’s a vicious cycle.

As are chores.

I stand at the entrance to a room, gun-ho...ready to tackle the mess. I take one long look, begin to hyperventilate, remember a thousand things I have to do online. And walk away. Oh there is usually an attempt made. Yes, an attempt. Yet, ask me to find something online, or in my files and I’m right on it. I can put my hand on that puppy in under a minute.

For those of us who work from home, household messes can mean an interruption in our work day, not to mention an extreme annoyance. Yet here we are, sitting at the computer, facing the mess. Hard to work with that in your face. Well, not hard if you can ignore it.

There are days when I will do ANY THING but work. Those days, the house is clean. But when I’m in work mode, look out. I see nothing, I hear nothing. I ignore everything.

When it comes right down to it, if I spent just one hour a day I could keep up. Tidying can be done quickly and between emails. One load of dishes can be washed. One load of laundry put in the washer. This would at least keep me current. Well here’s the news people...I’m not current on my phone bill, my hair conditioner or my query quota. It’s my nature. Gemini folk would rather do interesting things than mundane. We need constant input. I’m not going to get that from scraping old pasta into the garbage.

I ask you, is it really that hard to put the new roll of toilet paper on the spindle? Our spindle disappeared months ago when my family refused to use it. Did it leave in disgust? Did it feel rejected? Who’s to say. I can tell you that the toilet paper roll fits pretty well over the side arm of the holder. No spindle.

So between losing time when I work and watching the mess spread like petroleum goo, I figure I’m going to have to take matters in hand. What’s going to get me away from the computer and on to the other things I have to do?

Probably nothing. And I’ll gripe to you about it in a future article. For now, I have a million things to do online. So please excuse me.