I Was A Childhood Bigfoot

Sunday, Aug. 17, 2008

My older sister used to call me Bigfoot, a cute, but mean nickname pointing out that she thought I had big feet for my age. Actually it's more likely she knew exactly what calling me that name made me think of myself. If that sounds like it's laced with traces of bitter, you'd probably be correct.

She was, of course, the thin one. I was the one who showed more of the eastern European half of us. Her's was the waifish Irish side..... yeah, I know

She basically had me believing I was fat, big-footed, stupid, ugly and all the other levels of dented self-confidence in between.

I've grown a bit over the years, but there are times when my size nine feet feel bigger than they really are, just as there are days my arse feels bigger than it really is. Yep, it's big, but not that big.

The "way we feel" and the "way we are" are usually football fields apart. I really don't know anyone who actually describes themselves either fairly or balanced. We're a race of either too much or too little. Balance is not something found in people's sense of self.

Peoples' words can have an incredible impact on our soul and our psyche, but it's up to us to shake them off. Yes, words are powerful weapons, but they are also easily ignored. Turn away, turn the channel, change the station, tune out....

If we choose one negative thing a day, a habit that bothers us, a neighbor we can't seem to talk to without feeling down, a place on our walk that's less pleasant....if we turn away from one unpleasant thing, we have turned toward something that brings us more joy or calm or satisfaction. That means we're one step closer to appreciating what brings us those positive feelings.

Today I turned away from a discussion on one of the forums I visit. A long long discussion, it has been going on for about two weeks and has degenerated into a really negative thread to read. Today I skipped it and I'll do the same tomorrow. I read a thread on spices instead. Learned a thing or two while I was at it.

Ignore those who want to spread negativity like rancid butter. They're about as useful.

oh...and don't let anyone call you Bigfoot.